Is it possible for two people to successfully shift from lovers to friends? Absolutely, but only if the exes are honest with themselves and each other—and if they set clear boundaries like these, writes DrCortneyWarren
Get as clear as you can about how you would like—and not like—to have your ex in your life moving forward.Now that you’ve figured out some of your motivation for being friends and what you’d like that relationship to look like, it’s time to share it with your ex and get their feedback to see whether a friendship works for them. For example, you may say something like:
I know things are changing between us because we broke up. Even though we’re not romantically together anymore, I want to be friends with you because I really care about you as a person. You’re funny and I really like you as a person—we just weren’t good together as romantic partners. What I hope is that we can be friends moving forward. To me, that means we can see each other once in a while—maybe grab coffee or catch up sometimes. I know we’ll run into each other at parties too.
Like all relationships, you’ll get more information as you go. If you find that your new interactions or way of relating isn’t healthy for you or them, change it until you find something that works. Ultimately, that may mean that you aren't capable of being friends— at least not yet.Clear boundaries exist in all healthy relationships.
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