Advice: Her partner bought them a condo, but she suddenly can’t decide whether she wants to move there with him.
I love the apartment we rent now, and I can’t tease out my misgivings about moving from my own general resistance to change, the headaches of moving, the strains on our relationship , my occasional wish to just live in this apartment alone, and my feeling sad regardless of what I choose. I could live with the ambiguity, but we have to tell our landlord soon. And I am just not good at this kind of decision with such a short timeline.
So, you stay, and see whether you’re happy by yourself. You see whether you prefer being with your partner in separate homes, or separating more completely. If you stay paired, you see whether the new home grows on you. If you want to join your partner in the new home, then renegotiate the chores. Tl;dr: If you don’t like the timeline, then try to change it. And don’t ignore misgivings even if they seem irrational.yourself, please. How you want to live, where, and with whom is not “silly,” it’s life itself.My father, 92, has morphed into someone I no longer recognize. He’s petty, nasty, paranoid and delusional. I know he has limited time, but I don’t want my last memories to be of this strange person rather than the loving, caring and generous man he used to be.
And let’s say a death is sudden — that’s still going to be a difficult last memory. There are very few good ends. Amid a loved one’s decline, it does seem as if all we’re going to remember is the terrible last years/months/days — but unless there’s trauma involved, it’s safe to expect eventual healing — which will bring the better memories to the fore.Many grievers can describe their first “good” dream, finally, of someone they recently lost. It takes time.
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