Advice | Carolyn Hax: Husband uses toddler for petty stunt during argument.
AdvertisementI had a hysterectomy recently and have shared this with just a few trusted people. I was adamant about not sharing this with my mother.
In the past, when I’ve shared info about any health issue, large or small, I’ve regretted it. She always manages to imply that something I did wrong caused my problems: “You wear too much eye makeup so naturally you have dry eyes,” “You are too competitive in sports so naturally you have knee pain,” “You don’t follow my advice on” nutrition/lifestyle/whatever, “so naturally you have X.
Honestly Carolyn, I’m extremely healthy, live an active lifestyle, and this was my first surgery and I’m beyond pregnancy age. The surgery was successful and I’m getting on with my life.My issue is my husband. He says this surgery is a big deal and “as my mother,” she should know. I completely disagree. I don’t see any benefits for me, or her, in sharing this information.
I’m sorry the people closest to you think they have a vote in your intimate decisions. Maybe it’s time to stop giving them one. And consider the mom-to-spouse pattern that may have gotten you here.
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