All the Ways I Failed at Self-Improvement

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All the Ways I Failed at Self-Improvement
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Making homemade yeast, keeping in touch with friends, learning to knit, and more of magicmolly's failed attempts at self-improvement during quarantine

Photo: Stevie Remsberg; Source Video Getty Personal Project is a week about hobbies and digging into our hidden talents.

When I’m feeling lucid, I understand that the idea of “self-improvement” is ludicrous at a time like this. How could anyone possibly get through weeks of terrorized confinement without coming out the other side an appreciably worse version of their former self? Even if the regression is only a temporary one? But, of course, I am not often feeling lucid these days, and so I continue to enter search queries like “homemade yogurt easy” and “bird identification app free.

Not do drugs After five days of anxiety insomnia, I was starting to lose weight and bump into walls when walking. It was targeted anxiety: A sibling who had been sick with COVID-19 for ten days suddenly developed pneumonia, and I was worried. I tried the usual palliatives: sniffing lavender oil, taking a hot shower before bed, chamomile tea, booze. On day six, I broke an emergency Klonopin tablet in half and swallowed it, believing that I was taking a reasonable .

Cards on the table: I am a beginning knitter. I can cast on using several methods and have mastered the basic stitches. I have made presentable scarves and blankets. This kit was labeled as “Easy,” which subsequently made me pretty upset because it was not. I had to look up multiple supplemental YouTube tutorials along the way before ultimately ruining the booties beyond repair during the assembly stage, which was — in my opinion — insufficiently diagrammed in the included booklet.

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