Plus: If I have to be a mother to her kid, I’d rather do it without her.
Our adult son, wife and their young children live in another state, and when we visit them, their home is a complete mess, dirty and sticky with spilled food and drinks. We stay at an Airbnb when we visit.
You probably won’t get this family to treat your house like a pristine adult house. But you should set age-appropriate guidelines for being a good guest. Before you call, though, really ask yourself what you need to feel comfortable. The kids are young, the parents are on vacation; you’re all having fun. Sometimes a towel is going to sit on the floor for a minute.I’m a 52-year-old mother and grandmother. My daughter and granddaughter live with me due to some bad life choices my daughter has made.
While my granddaughter is my pride and joy, I can’t help but be angry most of the time because my life is no longer my own and is certainly not what I envisioned at this age; I pay for everything because my daughter can’t land a meaningful job and, if she does, it’s not for long; and I’d rather be doing anything else but playing with a toddler and watching toddler shows as I find it extremely boring.
Your resentment is rooted in an expectation that she’ll step up and take responsibility. That’s not an unrealistic expectation in the grand scheme, but with respect to your daughter, it is. The choices are either set a hard boundary for your daughter and refuse to budge or frame everything about this situation as an active choice you’re making out of love for your granddaughter and your daughter.
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