At UVA, choosing to believe in 'a path out of darkness'

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At UVA, choosing to believe in 'a path out of darkness'
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ESSAY: “These moments of gun violence and school shootings defined my adolescence, and I’m thinking about them as I park my car in the faculty parking lot at the high school where I now teach,” writes Caitlin Terry.

Members of the University of Virginia community attend a candlelight vigil on the South Lawn for the victims of a shooting overnight at the university, on Nov. 14, 2022, Charlottesville, Virginia.

I’m out of state now, but when I unlocked my phone from “do not disturb” on Monday morning, I received the immediate gut punch of news and emergency notifications: “Shelter in place. ACTIVE ATTACKER. RUN HIDE FIGHT.” The pain spread with the realization that it wasn’t over, that after the vibrations of emergency notifications shattered the serenity of a Sunday night, the extending silence and fear while waiting for an “all clear” had stretched into Monday morning.

During last year's drill, I pulled two students into my office and had them hide under the desk while I turned the lights off and locked the door. My office door is see-through glass. I shushed them while they giggled. I thought back to the previous drill, when I tried to fit 16 students into the least visible corner of the room, then tried to keep them quiet while I turned the lights off and locked the door.

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