My lifelong friend, Duane Archer-Buffum, passed away on November 23, 2018. This tribute is written to him. I’ve asked myself a thousand times over the past few decades what would have happened if I had handled the conversation differently when … Continue reading →
My lifelong friend, Duane Archer-Buffum, passed away on November 23, 2018. This tribute is written to him.
It was quick enough that you visited me in Tallahassee. We went to dinner at Flamingo’s . You talked to me about your courtship of Pam. It was quick enough that I could talk with you honestly about my concerns about that relationship . And eventually, Wayne and I ended up as guests at your wedding. I loved how much you loved acting. And God I loved how good you were at it. As much as you could have succeeded on bigger stages , I think your talents made a bigger difference for all the students you taught over 30 years, both the high school students you taught for so long and the elementary school students you had started teaching shortly before you died.
“For Good” was sung at your memorial. There’s a reason this song is sung at so many goodbye occasions. It says exactly how we feel at the most difficult goodbyes. “…because I knew you, I have been changed for good.” I do regret how it still took years for me to really embrace what it means to be an ally, to finally retire treating our history as a punchline “I dated a guy but he turned out to be gay and then married a sweet Mormon girl, had six kids with her and then married his husband” and give it the respect it was due. It was two human beings growing up together and getting more in touch with the people they were meant to be.
It wasn’t an easy period, as we both lost our moms . You had some serious health problems and a few other issues you trusted me enough to share. However, it was a period that was capped off by you marrying Shane, who you called your soulmate.
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