She says she had multiple panic attacks the week before her tour.
“It sent me down a hole. I went through a whole self-harming phase — we don’t have to go into it. But the gist of it was, I felt like I deserved to be in pain.”
“It’s funny. When anyone else thinks about Billie Eilish at 14, they think of all the good things that happened," she said. "But all I can think of is how miserable I was. How completely distraught and confused. Thirteen to 16 was pretty rough.” But at 17, Eilish said she hasn't felt depressed in a while, and she's enjoying it. She has, however, experienced panic attacks recently, which she said is new for her.
The panic attacks, she said, stemmed from her having to leave the comfort of home, where she had just gone to visit horse stables to see if she could lease a horse to improve her mental health. “I just couldn’t take the fact that I had to leave again,” Eilish said. “It felt like an endless limbo. Like there was no end in sight. And, I mean, it’s true: There really is no end in sight with touring.”
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