The notion that wedding guests have to pay for their seat at the table makes the hongbao a transaction, not a gift, says CNA’s Erin Low.
SINGAPORE: A woman in Malaysia went viral on TikTok in September, after sharing that she received two hand-drawn RM20 notes at her wedding.
In response, some netizens argued that couples shouldn’t expect money from their guests. “You should be sincere and have intentions to be charitable when you invite guests,” said one. Given the mounting expenses of hosting a wedding, it seems disingenuous to say that couples should have no expectations about receiving hongbao from guests. The cash gift can also be used to start the newlyweds off on their life journey - a step that’s getting more expensive amid rising costs of living.
But at the same time, the fact that market rates for wedding hongbao exist makes it hard for guests to give from their hearts. The expense of attending weddings takes a toll on guests too. Whenever wedding season hits, my friends and I bemoan not only the effort of enduring weekend after weekend of weddings, but also its impact on our wallets.
We also created a bridal registry, to give guests the option of buying a gift if they prefer. It hasn’t taken off with our Singaporean friends and family, but many of our guests from abroad have sent us gifts.
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