Complex Human Being Reduced To ‘Gutter Guy’ For Purposes Of To-Do List

NASHUA, NH—Taken aback by the cursory and near total diminishment of the living, breathing human being’s multifaceted existence, sources confirmed Monday that a complex individual with rich and intensely personal dreams, ideas, and feelings had been reduced to “gutter guy” for the purposes of an area couple’s to-do…

NASHUA, NH—Taken aback by the cursory and near total diminishment of the living, breathing human being’s multifaceted existence, sources confirmed Monday that a complex individual with rich and intensely personal dreams, ideas, and feelings had been reduced to “gutter guy” for the purposes of an area couple’s to-do list.

Indeed, sources stated that the man’s 51 years of life—more than half a century of vivid and varied joys, heartaches, hopes, and fears—were unfeelingly whittled down to a single line item and tucked summarily and without remorse between the phrases “dry cleaning” and “groceries,” as if this child born of stardust and circumstance, this being unique in the vast tapestry of cosmic time and space was but a one-dimensional, utilitarian tool and nothing more.

We have summarized this news so that you can read it quickly. If you are interested in the news, you can read the full text here. Read more:

TheOnion /  🏆 724. in US

Singapore Latest News, Singapore Headlines

Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.

Opinion: New McLaren CEO starts with a long to-do list | AutocarNew McLaren CEO Michael Leiters will come to Woking with a long to-do list, says matty_prior
Read more »

Lawmakers, experts react to Elon Musk purchasing Twitter for $44 billionIn tweets on Monday, Musk listed several possible changes to Twitter making algorithms open source, defeating spambots, and authenticating all humans.
Read more »

Purpose Bitcoin ETF adds 1.1K BTC as data hints investors want to 'buy the dip'Bitcoin ETF Purpose buys BTC again after a month-long absence.
Read more »

Will Smith Traveled to India for Spiritual Purposes One Month After Oscars Slap: SourceWill Smith said after the Oscars incident that 'change takes time, and I am committed to doing the work to ensure that I never again allow violence to overtake reason'
Read more »