“The long night is over—you’ll never carry your own bags or professional weight again.” In newyorkerhumor, a man gets welcomed into his new status as a seven.
Going forward, feel free to deduct anything that straightens, whitens, or vacuums. Botox, however, is exempt owing to its nonessential effect on migraines and muscle spasms.
While I prefer the carrot to the stick, bylaws require me to mention the consequences for breaking the Masquerade. If a leak is traced back to you, you will be surgically demoted to a four. Appeals are possible, if you can withstand walking into the Hall of Beauty with a mortal face. Most slink into the sewers.
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