A domestic helper with eleven years of experience in Singapore shares her distressing experience with a new employer who frequently criticizes her and gives contradictory instructions, causing her to doubt her abilities and suffer emotional strain. She reveals that despite warnings about her employer's short temper, she accepted the job hoping to help, but now feels drained. Online comments are divided, with many urging her to prioritize her mental health and consider transferring, while others suggest open communication before making a decision. The post highlights the emotional challenges some domestic workers face and the importance of healthy employer-employee relationships.
A domestic helper with eleven years of experience in Singapore has taken to social media to share a deeply troubling experience with her new employer, marking the first time in her long career that she has encountered someone who makes her cry and question her own competence.
In a post within a Facebook group for helpers, she detailed how, despite her diligent efforts to follow instructions and perform her duties properly, she is frequently subjected to criticism. A particularly confusing example she gave involved dishwashing: her madam initially instructed her to use the dishwasher to save soap and water, but later scolded her for doing so, insisting she hand wash instead.
She found plates she had already washed and left to dry were returned to the dishwasher with a cross look, even though they were already clean. When she mustered the courage to ask if she had done something wrong or if her work was substandard, she was reassured that everything was fine, creating a climate of contradictory signals that left her confused and emotionally drained.
Before accepting the position, she had been warned that the household's madam was known for having a short temper. Nevertheless, she decided to give her a chance, believing that everyone has both good and bad sides and that understanding and patience could overcome difficulties.
"I accepted it because I know there is a good and bad side in every one of us," she wrote. "I know being a domestic helper is very tough work and needs stretchable patience… but I always think about the positive side. " Now, after four months, she is uncertain whether to stay or transfer.
Her motivation to stay stems from a desire to help her madam and understand her behavior, but the constant criticism and shifting expectations are depleting her positive energy. She directly asked the online community for advice: "Any advice if I should transfer or still stay here? I don't want to judge my madam because we are all human. Nobody is perfect.
" The response from commenters was overwhelmingly sympathetic, with many urging her to prioritize her own mental and emotional well-being. One wrote, "Sister, if it drains you, if it affects your mental health, no need to stay… you deserve better… who will treat you better.
" Another advised, "If you are not happy in your job, why stay? It may be better to transfer and find your peace.
" A third added, "Leave it as we are here just to work and earn money; regardless of her condition, it's none of your responsibility!! We are just helpers and workers, not PhDs.
" However, a minority suggested giving herself more time to adjust and attempting to resolve the issues through open dialogue before requesting a transfer. One commenter recommended, "Sit and talk-lay your issues. After talking, if there are no changes, ask for a transfer.
" Another offered a different perspective: "To helpers here, constantly changing environments in search of 'peace' or a better employer without addressing the underlying issues is often unhelpful, as the same challenges may arise again elsewhere. It's all about your attitude and a willing heart!
" This incident underscores the vulnerability of domestic workers to emotional stress and the complex decisions they face when navigating difficult employment situations, balancing financial necessity with psychological health
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