‘DSM-5’ Updated To Accommodate Man Who Is Legitimately Being Ordered To Kill By The Moon

Singapore News News

‘DSM-5’ Updated To Accommodate Man Who Is Legitimately Being Ordered To Kill By The Moon
Singapore Latest News,Singapore Headlines
  • 📰 TheOnion
  • ⏱ Reading Time:
  • 14 sec. here
  • 2 min. at publisher
  • 📊 Quality Score:
  • News: 9%
  • Publisher: 51%

ARLINGTON, VA—Saying they were committed to ensuring the influential reference text accurately represented all known psychological conditions, leading members of the American Psychiatric Association announced Monday they would update the Diagnostic And Statistical Manual Of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition to accommodate a man who is legitimately being ordered by the moon to kill those around him. “After conducting extensive psychological examinations of the individual in question, our board has determined that the patient shows no sign of delusion or hallucination and is in fact receiving regular instruction from Earth’s moon to commit murder, and our classification manual must be revised to reflect these findings,” said APA medical director Saul M. Levin, clarifying that the man’s affliction would not be subcategorized as a schizophrenic or psychotic disorder, as the voice he hears urging him to bludgeon others to death in fits of manic violence emanates from the moon itself and not from within his own mind. “Based on our study of this patient, we will add the new entry ‘Lunar-Motivated Homicidal Impulse Syndrome’ to the DSM, which is characterized by regular communication with the moon, persistent homicidal urges, and violent behavior stemming from one’s efforts to appease the moon.” Levin added that because the man’s mental state did not derive from any abnormal neurochemistry, standard psychiatric medications would likely have little effect on his condition, and thus his only course of treatment would be to cut out the small device that was implanted in his brain for receiving the transmissions.

ARLINGTON, VA—Saying they were committed to ensuring the influential reference text accurately represented all known psychological conditions, leading members of the American Psychiatric Association announced Monday they would update theto accommodate a man who is legitimately being ordered by the moon to kill those around him.

Levin, clarifying that the man’s affliction would not be subcategorized as a schizophrenic or psychotic disorder, as the voice he hears urging him to bludgeon others to death in fits of manic violence emanates from the moon itself and not from within his own mind.

We have summarized this news so that you can read it quickly. If you are interested in the news, you can read the full text here. Read more:

TheOnion /  🏆 724. in US

Singapore Latest News, Singapore Headlines

Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.

Peru swimmer withdraws from Pan Am Games after failed testPeru swimmer withdraws from Pan Am Games after failed testPeruvian swimmer Mauricio Fiol has pulled out of the Pan Am Games after failing ...
Read more »

Ahead by a century, U.S. storms to 100 Pan Am medalsAhead by a century, U.S. storms to 100 Pan Am medalsThe United States needed only one week to hit the medal century mark at the Pan ...
Read more »

U.S., Canada need to open eyes to Pan Am GamesU.S., Canada need to open eyes to Pan Am GamesThe United States and Canada need to open their eyes to what is happening outsid...
Read more »

Pan Am Games: Paul bags more gold for Trinidad and Tobago at the Lima velodromePan Am Games: Paul bags more gold for Trinidad and Tobago at the Lima velodromeAto Boldon has long been unrivalled as Trinidad and Tobago's most famous sp...
Read more »

Moon reportedly settles sexual harassment suitMoon reportedly settles sexual harassment suitHall of Fame quarterback Warren Moon settled a sexual harassment lawsuit with a ...
Read more »



Render Time: 2025-04-07 23:04:52