For my 13-year-old basketball player, Gianna Bryant's death was a bigger blow than Kobe's

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For my 13-year-old basketball player, Gianna Bryant's death was a bigger blow than Kobe's
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Kobe and Gianna Bryant's deaths felt personal because of who they were and because of what they were doing: heading to a youth basketball tournament.

Investigators are looking into why a helicopter carrying Kobe Bryant, his daughter and seven others slammed into a Calabasas hillside.

I didn’t tell her then what I feared — that some of Gianna’s teammates and their parents might have also been killed in the crash. She cried because really there was nothing to do but cry. There was no criminal to excoriate, no policy issue to denounce, no paparazzi to blame. You cannot turn fury on the fog. It was, at least in early reckoning, an accident. A terrible, awful, random accident.

That somehow made it worse. I let her cry for a while, and then I tried to answer some of her questions. Their deaths, though horrifying, would have been very quick. If Gianna had been scared, her father was there to comfort her. Their family would feel terrible pain, but they would be surrounded by friends and relatives, and they would feel the love and support of their city and country.

As for “why,” well there is no answer, is there? Sometimes wonderful things happen, like the beautiful shower we had just been part of, and sometimes terrible things happen. With any luck, the grief so many feel about Kobe, Gianna and the other seven lives lost will help unite us, will remind us that we are all just people to whom wonderful and terrible things happen, and so maybe we should be a little nicer to each other.

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