I'm awful, thanks for asking!
. Because who’s really asking for an honest report of someone’s inner emotional landscape when they use the question to open a conversation?
Recently, though, the pandemic has shoved the question out of innocuous small talk into a place of self-awareness and care. More often than I can count, people have asked me, “How are you?” without thinking, only to pause, laugh or groan, and say something like, “Well, all things considered” or “I’m guessing bad?” or “I hope you’re doing as okay as you can be.
There’s this common adage, along the lines of, “Be kind, you never know what someone is going through,” and frankly the stark out-of-placeness of “How are you?” reminds people of that sentiment every time they slip and ask what used to be such a banal question. Somehow, it’s accidentally making us all a little more thoughtful, one conversation at a time.
And on the selfish side of things, I’m so relieved that it’s now socially acceptable to answer the question honestly. Who among us is ever “fine” when they say they’re fine? It’s a small gift to ourto be relieved of the burden of pretending to be okay right now. This doesn’t mean we should feel obligated to unload all of our baggage—or feel entitled to honest answers from other people who may not want to share the many personal horrors they’re facing during the pandemic.
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