HUNTSVILLE, TX—Convicted murderer and death row inmate Robert Insterman, 45, announced Thursday that, fuck it, he might as well read the whole goddamn Harry Potter series of bestselling young-adult novels.
“I mean, what else am I going to do? Don’t see why I shouldn’t just read these fuckers,” said the man convicted of abducting and killing a 26-year-old woman, adding that the novels’ successful combination of fantasy and coming-of-age genres “couldn’t hurt” in his efforts to distract himself from his forthcoming execution. “I got halfway through the first book while waiting to see if they’d hear my appeal, and I thought it was pretty good. I guess I’ll be reading the rest of them now.
Although Insterman’s execution date remains undetermined, the inmate was optimistic that he would complete the series about the wizarding world before a cocktail of lethal chemicals is injected into his forearm, ending his life.“I double-checked, and the prison library has a copy of each book in the series,” said Insterman, noting thathad been published after his arrest. “That bastard Alejandro has book three checked out right now, and I swear to God I’ll snap his neck if he doesn’t return it.
“I’m outside reading most of the afternoon, then I get in a few more pages after dinner, and I usually have an hour or so to read in my cell before lights out,” Insterman said. “If I weren’t sitting around reading Harry Potter, I probably wouldn’t be doing jack shit.
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