Gay Bars Are More Than an Escape — They’re Home

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Gay Bars Are More Than an Escape — They’re Home
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“To be in a place like Pulse or like Cubbyhole is to be known … Family can love you through your queerness, but family doesn’t always understand. Family can bend and break apart, but a chosen family never will,” writes landsbaumshell

Cubbyhole, in New York’s West Village. Photo: Shanna Ravindra My best friend took a picture of me the night we went to Cubbyhole for the first time. In it, I’m sitting across from her on the train, wearing a coat and plaid pants appropriate for mid-December. I’m smiling down into my lap, embarrassed by the camera, but behind the shy smile is something like ecstasy.

It’s just as special to Debbie Greenberg, whom everyone calls “Deb,” and who’s been tending bar at Cubbyhole for almost six years now. “The first time I walked in, I was in awe of the feeling there,” she says. “It’s like going to an adult Disneyland — there’s always so much love. I felt at home immediately.”

And it does feel like family, because to be in a place like Pulse or like Cubbyhole is to be known. Like the genetic information you share with your most distant cousins, everyone there has something in common. But it’s not like family, because family can love you through your queerness, but family doesn’t always understand. Family can bend and break apart, but a chosen family never will.

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