DearPrudie: I need to find a way out of this ASAP.
There’re two things going on here: Stella is relying on you in a way that is starting to feel oppressive, and some of your stuff is being brought up to the surface because of your relationship with her. Neither of these things is your fault, but they are separate issues that have somewhat separate solutions.
You feel guilty because you’re kind and you want to help, but I also suspect that you have a stronger feeling of obligation to her because of your history. So, first, you might want to do some thinking on your own about what relationship you want to have with your older neighbor and how that relationship can feed you, energetically, as well as help her. Maybe you get an emotional boost from grabbing her groceries or extending another kindness.
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