As a family, they’d pulled together to look out for grandpa when he developed dementia – but still, there came a day caregiver Geraldine Lim ...
SINGAPORE: It was 6.30am and Geraldine Lim was about to give up. Her father had not come home since he left for his usual walkabout the afternoon before.
Calm and composed by nature, the mother-of-three had always been able to manage the quirks that came with William’s illness: From the time he drank soy sauce instead of water, to when he lost his car.This time however, she felt, “for the first time, like maybe I can’t cope with this properly”, admitted Geraldine, her voice cracking as she recalled the incident a year ago.
Even when he eventually moved in with Geraldine’s family in 2016, he went on his own way without a problem. One morning, noting that the padlock was in place, Geraldine assumed William was home – until she noticed his shoes were gone and he was not in his room. Though this had her climbing the walls sometimes, in a manner of speaking, Geraldine had come to terms with her father’s irreversible “second childhood”."You can either cry or laugh about it, or get angry," she said.As the disease progressed, William, now 84, forgot to take his meals and medication. He would raid the fridge and eat or drink anything – a whole lemon, chicken stock, even soy sauce. He would stick the shaver in his mouth instead of gliding it across his chin.
William had even rallied fellow newcomers to join him, Geraldine recalled, laughing. “It was actually very funny. He said, ‘no why should we stay here?’ And they all tried to leave the centre together!” Geraldine soon realised how much she needed this kind of respite. “My reaction at first was that finally, it’s someone else’s responsibility as well,” she said.At 8.30am, a cab arranged by the centre would pick him up. By 9am, he’d be settled comfortably at the dining area with a bowl of porridge and a cup of coffee for breakfast.
In recent years, centre-based care has become a more popular option compared to nursing homes for caregivers of the elderly, aBut even with such help around, the dementia journey is still filled with ups and downs – and care staff have learnt to deal patiently with their clients’ erratic moods. The family tried to keep him occupied. They created a “grandpa’s playlist” of Elvis Presley hits that they played while he did his exercises.
He began showing “signs of deterioration”, like easing himself in the bedroom; and he would nap much of the day away.
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