“There’s a moment 19 minutes into Disney’s 1998 film Mulan where the heroine takes a sword to her long black hair… Seeing this montage in the theaters, at 9 years old, was the first moment I remembered feeling inspired by a film,” writes traciglee
” where the heroine takes a sword to her long black hair, cutting it short in one fluid motion without hesitation. It’s part of a montage where Mulan, spurred by her father’s decision to fight for China despite old war injuries, quickly decides on her own that she will dress as a man and take her father’s place in the army. She prays, steals her father’s armor and rides off in the rain. Only once does she pause to gaze wistfully at her sleeping parents.
And then came Mulan, a character I was excited to see because she was someone who looked like me. Not only did I identify with the culture I saw on screen – a culture I wasn’t used to seeing put on screen at all – but I didn’t feel self-conscious watching her.
And, more importantly, her actions aren’t driven by a man. She dresses as a boy, takes her father’s place, and proves her strength in order to protect her own family. While she initially chose to do what she did for her family, she also realizes what really drove her halfway through the film: “Maybe I didn’t go for my father. Maybe what I really wanted was to prove I could do things right, so when I looked in the mirror, I’d see someone worthwhile.
In 1998, when “Mulan” came out, my eyebrows were starting to disappear. Two years later, about 50% of my hair fell out. I went through various stages of grief in the process until I began to wear wigs daily. But I tried not to see those wigs as a disguise.
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