“I think of songwriting as the thing that lets me transcend capitalism, the prisons of day-to-day reality. There has to be a state of gnosis, of letting go and not being in total control to have that magic.”
In the Silver Lake apartment of Tamaryn — one of the most underrated artists in the world of gothic-synthpop — a TV screen is always on a loop featuring classic ’80s music icons. The day before a recent interview it was Bryan Ferry day. Today it’s Annie Lennox.The space is filled with trinkets, tarot cards, stained glass and prayer candles. Her pet birds chirp with excitement overhead while her dog – Tennessee – rests on the couch.
On the record there are flashes of “Speak & Spell”-era Depeche Mode, Kate Bush histrionics, even ’80s band Ministry. But rather than drown out her voice as she's done before, this time her truth is brought to the fore. “I always had my hair in my face, I've always tried to create something bigger than me to transcend the mundane,” she says. “This time I'm trying to step into my power.
“It felt like no matter what music I made, I'd hit a ceiling where I couldn’t turn it into a career. That stressed me out. I wanted to get a trade, assimilate into society, stop being a loser band person,” she says. “Now I don't care about that.” The record took only three weeks to create with long-standing collaborator Jorge Elbrecht. It features Tamaryn's most intense songwriting. She doesn't pre-meditate and describes lyrics as revealing themselves to her by way of “spiritual channeling.” Tracks like “Terrified,” “Victim Complex” and the title cut are fueled by grief and trauma. The album is dedicated to photographer Matt Irwin, who took his own life in 2016.
“It's almost about slitting your wrists in front of people,” Tamaryn says. “It's so melodramatic and self-aware that it's almost amusing. Are you seeing your own suffering through a darkened lens of your trauma? Is the world against you or is it a classic gothic sensibility of leaning into suffering as a comforting place?”
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