How to really help someone who is going through a hard time:
When someone is in pain – whether it is caused by sickness, heartbreak, or failure – you cannot magically make it disappear, no matter how much you might want to. This can leave you feeling helpless – but you have more power than you realize.
You do not need to rescue someone from their situation in order to help – instead, you can offer to share their emotional burden. And you can do this by fully listening to them express their pain. When you truly listen and imagine what it must be like to be in their shoes –, you change their experience. They are no longer sitting alone. Instead, you are emotionally sitting beside them. Of course, no one can know exactly what it’s like for them, but you can still share their experience.
Good listening involves more than just hearing someone’s words . You must also let them know that their pain makes sense and is “valid” – meaning that they have every right to feel as they do and that many, if not most, people in their circumstance would feel similarly. In validating their experience, you are also accepting them as they are – pain and all. This can help them accept themselves and their experiences, which is usually soothing.
Good and healing listening is a loving act that offers connection with the person’s deeply felt experience – and that is the most healing force in the world.
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