'I apologize to God for feeling this way': A 75-year-old woman on coronavirus, being alone, and being thought of as expendable
I try to remember that I’m one of the lucky ones in all this. What do I have to complain about? I’m not dead. I’m not sick. I haven’t lost my job or gone broke. I’m bored and I’m lonely, and so what? Who’s really going to care about my old-lady problems? Lately, when I see people talking about the elderly, it’s mostly about how many of us are dying off and how we’re forcing them to shut down the economy.I tell myself I should be more positive. I should be grateful.
Negative thoughts creep up like that. I start getting crabby. It’s waves of anger and depression, and I beat myself up for it. People have it a whole lot worse. Obviously. Gloria Jackson, 75, sits on the deck of her home in Minnesota. She has underlying health conditions and is grappling with loneliness.
Sometimes, before I know it, I’ve been writing comments on Facebook posts for hours: “To hell with you then.” “You idiot.” “How dumb can you be?” “Moron.” “Racist.” “Selfish pig.” “Idiot.” “Idiot.”
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