What happened when I left behind the bed I share with my husband for the spare mattress.
Isolating from either of them was pointless. I’d already been exposed, and besides, my husband and I had to trade off child-care duties while we tried not to fall too behind on work. But I continued to sleep in my office anyway, partly to escape my husband’s coughs, but mostly because it was the only time I got to myself. Sick and clingy, my son refused to let me out of his sight, accompanying me to the bathroom and scrabbling at my laptop when I tried to answer emails.
When I mentioned this to Harris, she explained that our situation wasn’t ideal. “In order for the arrangement to work, you have to both make sure that the sleep environments are mutually agreed upon and they’re as equal as possible,” she said. “It’s not fair if someone is relegated to an uncomfortable couch.” She admitted this is easier said than done — most people don’t have a spare bed just waiting around. Our storage loft is hardly the Ritz, but it’s a luxury in a Brooklyn apartment.
Gradually, everyone recovered. Child care resumed. My husband’s coughing abated, and he asked when I was coming back to bed. I wasn’t sure. I didn’t want to sleep apart forever, but I’d grown attached to my loft nest. Especially after exhausting days of work and caregiving, it felt decadent to be on my own, undisturbed, reading and flopping around without fear of kicking the cat or waking anyone.
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