Whether you’re turning 30, 40 or 50, there’s just something about landmark birthdays that feels gloomy and terrifying. One week before her birthday rolls around, CNA Women’s Sharon Salim talks about her fear of hitting the big 3-0 and how she’s attempting to overcome it.
But wait – I don’t feel excited, happy or joyful. Instead, I feel anxious, confused and … scared.Months ago, in anticipation of turning 30, I googled “why am I so afraid of turning 30” – and found out that birthday anxiety or birthday blues are, in fact, a thing.
“When I was 28, everyone around me was suddenly getting married, having babies, buying houses and getting promotions. I was single, redundant and living with my mum. It felt like I had single-handedly ruined my life. But actually, it was just my panic years,” Frizzell’s soothing voice sounded in my ears.
“A big part of our lives centres around reaching specific milestones, be it in education, career, relationships or other aspects of life,” Gunasegaran explained. She said we feel the need for achievement, and to feel that we have completed a certain set of standards set by ourselves or society. For women especially, said Gunasegaran, this anxiety is heightened because of expectations set by society – that we need to be in a relationship, be married, and have kids all because of our biological clock.Being on social media results in the inevitable comparison with others who have “made it”, and those who may seem to have it all, said Gunasegaran.
It not only gives us endless possibilities of what we could be doing with our time, Goh explained, it also changes the benchmark of what we think we should be accomplishing with that time. For example, when you see someone pursuing a hobby or being in a different career from you, it becomes a possibility we can explore.
This is also the reason why we may feel that the years are passing us by much more quickly or that we are running “out of time”, she added.There’s no better way to enter my next decade than to receive timely advice from the experts themselves – I hope it will help you, too, whichever birthday you’re facing.You have to accept that life rarely happens according to a timeline, said Goh. “We can do our best to plan for it, but we cannot control what happens.
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