“The truth was, I didn’t want ‘help,’ I wanted a partner who took equal responsibility for our shared life.”
“Hey, can you help me get the kids ready for bed?” I asked my husband.
It seemed if I wanted anything done, I had to specifically ask for “help” before my husband would step in.for help , and overseeing any work I delegated to my husband ― all of that was on me. A lot of the time, it felt easier to just do it all myself. The truth was, I didn’t want “help.” I wanted a partner who took equal responsibility for our shared life.
I still thank him for showing up and doing what needs to be done, but again, I’m not thanking him for “helping out.” I can thank him for getting the kids bathed or scheduling the dog’s vet appointment without framing his contributions as “helping me.”
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