“As he exits the building, Coolio slides on his sunglasses and warns viewers: ‘Don’t cheat, kids. Cheaters never prosper.’ With five years of hindsight, however, Coolio is clearly the winner here,” writes badgirlpripri
Photo: David Lang/ Television Food Network I Think About This a Lot is a series dedicated to private memes: images, videos, and other random trivia we are doomed to play forever on loop in our minds.
It’s a competition for type A overachievers, the kind of people who believe they can braise meat in 30 minutes, when most chefs will tell you such speedy meat braising is physically impossible.
For the appetizer round, Coolio — donning the official Chopped red chef smock and a baseball cap with two little holes from which his braids are shooting out — decides to use basket ingredients beef tongue, Chinese broccoli, candied citron, and microwaveable chocolate cake to make a funky beef and broccoli. In the final ten seconds of the round, Coolio spots his competitor Wilson squeeze a dash of lemon onto her dish, injecting it with a refreshing spritz of acid.
“I’m thinking, maybe, they’re not really paying attention,” Coolio explains, referring to the judges. Camera pans to judges, who are definitely paying attention. “And effectively, I am now cheating,” Coolio concludes. The judges agree. After being narced on by Jillette, Coolio is sent home. The cheating isn’t Coolio’s only blunder; his beef and broccoli also tastes way too much like peanut butter, the judges say.
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