After a father was sentenced earlier this month for killing his two sons with autism, netizens expressed empathy towards his struggles as a caregiver. Parents, teachers and experts told CNA about available support for autism – and the need to make sure children and caregivers don't fall through the cracks.
SINGAPORE: Father of twins, Benjamin Tan, would do anything for his son and daughter to have a “fair shot at life”.
Mr Tan recalled an instance when his son identified a correlation between Saturn and Saturday. Saturn is the sixth planet from the sun, while Saturday is widely known as the sixth day of the week. The twins, who were enrolled in a mainstream primary school, had been recommended to be placed in a special education school, but their mother in particular had difficulty accepting their condition, the court heard.
Another parent who wanted to be known only as Madam Ng said that in Yap’s case, “it’s not excusable, but I can imagine the stress”. “You have your expectations, your hopes, totally destroyed … On top of that, you have a big burden to take care of this person and help this child to do as well as possible,” she said.
In school, support for the child takes priority. But former and current teachers who spoke to CNA, all under the condition of anonymity, said they grapple with the consequences of parents’ struggles with acceptance. But support for parents doesn't take place in a school setting, added secondary school teacher Wendy, who has been teaching for 10 years.
Teachers in mainstream schools currently undergo “pre-service training” to gain a basic understanding of SEN and strategies to support diverse learners in the classroom, said MOE. MOE added that some students with “more severe needs” may require “additional support beyond what can be provided by the school”. In such cases, schools may, “on a needs-basis”, allow the use of “additional resources engaged by parents such as a professional or caregiver”.when they were aged nine while they were still non-verbal. Their mother and maid would each accompany one child to classes due to their learning difficulties.
“For my kid, he needed someone to remind him and help him with routines and in social aspects. For another kid I know, that kid needed someone to be there just to remind them not to run out of the classroom.”'Targeted intervention' for Primary 1 students with social, behavioural needs in all schools by 2026
Linda added that while it’s possible to arrange for an adult to accompany the student in class, “there will likely never be sufficient adults due to resourcing issues”. Jethro, now 14, was also bullied by his classmates, and would sometimes come home with shoe marks on his uniform. Mr Tan, the father whose twins with autism have benefited from being in special education schools, also questioned whether mainstream schools have “mechanisms” to counsel parents whose child “is not in a position to benefit from the support”.
Nonetheless, students with SEN who have more severe needs and remain in mainstream schools will continue to receive support through intervention planning and strategies, as well as in-class support by SEN officers, “as far as possible”, added MOE. Outside of the school setting, the demands of caring for a child with autism can take its toll on the caregiver’s mental health and relationships within the family.
Meanwhile, Mrs Finuliar quit her food and beverage job in July, partly because she was exhausted from juggling work and family responsibilities. Her day starts at 5am when she wakes up to help her 10-year-old daughter, Jierah, get ready for school. After she sends her daughter off, it is time to prepare Jared, 12, to go to Rainbow Centre.“That’s my life.
She is attending courses at the National University of Singapore to learn about accounting and finance, and hopes to be able to earn more. But she is also concerned about whether entering the corporate world will mean she has less time for her family.“As a mum, do you quit your job and just care for your child who may or may not get better?” she asked.
The Central Provident Fund has a Special Needs Savings Scheme where parents can nominate their children to receive a monthly disbursement. The Temasek Trust-CDC Lifelong Learning Enabling Fund also gives S$1,000 per adult with disability to support their learning. Parents may also need to deal with embarrassing, unexpected or dangerous situations, and can be misunderstood as allowing their children to behave badly.
“Surround yourself with people who really understand, who help your children or have concern for them," she added. The father of twins, whose daughter’s autism is more severe than his son’s, has heard “a lot of comments that are well-meaning but eminently unhelpful”, such as from someone who told him “kids are like that, no need to baby them, fall a bit is okay”, he recalled.
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