I was there for the coming of the apps and have lived long enough to now witness that the apps, it seems, have come for us
‘Turns out, courtship and coming-of-age rituals are not instinctive prompts of nature but subtle and learned behaviours developed through practice and observation.’‘Turns out, courtship and coming-of-age rituals are not instinctive prompts of nature but subtle and learned behaviours developed through practice and observation.’
Sign up for Guardian Australia’s free morning and afternoon email newsletters for your daily news roundup. The market cap of the Match Group – which now owns Tinder, Hinge, Plenty of Fish, and OkCupid, among others, as well as the original Match.com –I am old; I have seen too much. . In their Akira-like growth to capitalist behemoth status, they appear to have swallowed the daintiest, most delicate and delicious of human interactions.
, attitudes towards the apps have been growing jejune. In 2020, 12% of Americans were reporting they had married or formed committed relationships with someone they met online, but only a year later, a survey of internet daters revealed up to 80% of them described feelings of “burnout and emotional fatigue” with their adventures online.
Thing is, if you reduce dating to a shopfront, daters internalise and replicate retail behaviours, too. The NBC article describes the presentation of the self on the apps as a “highlight reel”, editing out the complexities, contradictions and flaws of the whole person. The dopamine hit of validation received by a swipe fades in the awkward, complex realities of encounters because you can’t actually form a human relationship with a shop.
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