WASHINGTON—Maintaining that the effort definitely happened and anyone who doubted them was probably just jealous, lazy officials at the Environmental Protection Agency claimed Monday that they’d successfully brought dogs back from the brink of extinction. “The truth is, a year ago, Canis familiaris was almost wiped…
WASHINGTON—Maintaining that the effort definitely happened and anyone who doubted them was probably just jealous, lazy officials at the Environmental Protection Agency claimed Monday that they’d successfully brought dogs back from the brink of extinction.
“The truth is, a year ago,was almost wiped off the face of the planet, and we, uh, worked really hard and brought them back to life,” said EPA administrator Michael Regan, who, while smirking and making eye contact with other members of his team, added that thanks to the agency’s extensive conservation, tracking, and breeding efforts, the species was now stronger than ever.
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