Aries: Fire emoji, beer emoji, star emoji.
I deleted my Instagram a while ago because it sort of felt like a giant meat market where everyone was either competing to a) get that ass or b) prove that their ass was the best proverbial ass in the land. And Tinder is no better. While Instagram is an app that is socially acceptable to scroll through during the day, Tinder is it’s embarrassing step-brother who still lives at home and has energy drink logos on a vast majority of his hats.
Taurus – Hobbies include: drinking all of the nice wine in stained sweatpants, making your parents love me, and [animal emoji]. Virgo – Organized spreadsheets in the streets, 700-count-thread in the sheets. Also, I know how to cook: First, open the Seamless app. Next, look for coupons. Last, open the door and tip generously.
Scorpio – Willing to argue about your favorite TV shows ad nauseam, as long as you supply the food and are tall enough to ride my emotional rollercoaster.
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