M&M’s Announces 1 In Every 100 Candies Acts As An Abortion Pill

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M&M’s Announces 1 In Every 100 Candies Acts As An Abortion Pill
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MCLEAN, VA—Noting there would be no effect on the product’s appearance or taste, M&M’s announced Tuesday that 1 in every 100 of the company’s candies would now act as an abortion pill. “If you need to terminate a pregnancy in a state where it is legally impossible to do so, then, statistically speaking, you could just…

MCLEAN, VA—Noting there would be no effect on the product’s appearance or taste, M&M’s announced Tuesday that 1 in every 100 of the company’s candies would now act as an abortion pill.

“If you need to terminate a pregnancy in a state where it is legally impossible to do so, then, statistically speaking, you could just consume five or six fun-size bags of M&M’s,” said Mars CEO Poul Weihrauch, who confirmed that 1% of all of the company’s signature candy-coated chocolates contained a 200-milligram dose of progesterone-blocking mifepristone, which would cause the uterine lining of the M&M consumer to break down.

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