They ignored my rules about what food is allowed.
When I host parties, I mention these allergies to friends and family and ask that if they’re inclined to bring food, they avoid bringing anything containing those allergens.
How do I respond that I won’t serve something that, at worst, can cause an allergic reaction in my son, and at best will make him feel excluded at a celebration?: If the goal is to shame your guests — always good sport in some quarters — Miss Manners feels you are squandering an opportunity by suggesting that they bring food. Those who thought they were guests will feel a greater burden at having to follow rules about what they bring. Better to spring it on them when they arrive.
It seems to me that they are saying they will call when it is convenient for them to do so, giving no priority to returning my call. What is the best wording for these outgoing messages?: Although she is not inclined to parse such well-worn phrases too closely, Miss Manners agrees that having the recipient borrow a phrase that was traditionally spoken by the caller does change the meaning. Promising to return the call as soon as possible gives the hope that one will be making a greater effort.
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