Miss Manners: I don’t want to hurt the bride, but I have qualms about the wedding

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Miss Manners: I don’t want to hurt the bride, but I have qualms about the wedding
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Plus: What should I have done after my dinner guest grabbed the olives?

I have a nephew who is getting married this coming June. His fiancee is a gem of a girl, but my nephew and I have almost no relationship.

My feeling is that I should just keep to myself and send them a nice gift. But at the same time, I don’t want to hurt my nephew’s bride. What say you?Unpleasant family duties are not a new invention, although Miss Manners recognizes that the level of unpleasantness is on the rise. If you do not attend, nothing bars you from writing a charming letter to the bride, welcoming her to the family and expressing your disappointment that you were not — without giving specifics — able to attend.At a dinner party, I was stunned to see one of my guests grab a handful of marinated olives and sun-dried tomatoes from a serving bowl without using the spoon provided. She then passed the bowl to the guest seated to her left.

Do you have a public health duty to clear the table and send everyone home? Perhaps — if you know something they do not, such as the COVID-positive status of your grabby guest.

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