We do split the bill when we eat out, but we were shocked by their expectation.
This shows up in many ways. Guests no longer feel obliged to make definite advance commitments — perhaps even less than they do for restaurants, which may charge no-shows. They expect to be able to state their food preferences. They are not likely to reciprocate.
Your friends have carried this to a crude extreme. To anyone who remembers the ancient tradition of hospitality, this is sad. Planning and overseeing entertainment was a pleasure that people enjoyed taking turns doing. The claim that it put all the burden on the hosts was false because reciprocity evened it out.
But if you are not terminally insulted by your friends’ having treated you as a customer rather than a guest, you could just set an example in your own house. The opportunity to discuss this will be when your friends ask what they can bring, or attempt to pay. Then you can properly express your horror: “No, no, it’s our home, and we consider it a pleasure to entertain you.”My neighbor is hosting a brunch for a local mother who lost her daughter in early December.
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