I wish someone could have prepared me for how much anger I’d feel.
Near the end of our NICU stay in April 2019, when I was finally able to hold Bastian.
We’d met with surgeons in advance, had toured the NICU, and had been told what to expect during his procedures. Somehow, what that might actually look like didn’t compute. The doctor helped the process along by putting pressure at the top of the silo, squeezing a little bit of his intestines back into his body like it was nothing more than a tube of toothpaste. I’m the person who covers her eyes during a gory movie scene, but I forced myself to watch everything my son was enduring.
There was the nasogastric tube that removed the nasty green bile from his stomach since he couldn’t yet use his intestines. And there was the breathing tube crammed down his throat that kept him from even being able to cry out in his distress.
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