Never underestimate the power of a dramatic chop, especially post-breakup 💇
Spring was just beginning to suggest itself when, at a vegan restaurant over a plate of tofu that wished it were eggs, my friend yanked my toque off my head and said it was time for me to get a haircut.
I sighed. I had to agree. The hair was dyed a murky brown in a sad attempt at my natural auburn. It had mostly snapped off halfway down due to a combination of overbleaching and malnutrition following a brutal breakup. In an attempt to regain some style a month or so before, I had consumed a few PBRs and consented to an ill-fated undercut. The only answer, as my friend so kindly pointed out, was a pixie cut.
I wasn’t afraid of change, per se. In the past year I’ve had pink, lavender, white, grey, chestnutty red, side shave, stark bob, suicide bangs. With the pixie, I feared being ugly and naked. What about when I was having a bad face day? I didn’t realize just how deeply the gender binary and its accompanying beauty standards held me in its stranglehold until I had to make this decision.
All I can speak to is my own experience doing this, and while I will likely always benefit from the privilege that comes with cis white womanhood regardless of how I wear my hair, my own personal exploration of what it means to divorce my old gender codes has played out in my appearance. I’ve spent the past few years avoiding most things femme: I stopped wearing bras, makeup and heels. I wear simple tees, skinny jeans, Blundstones, oversized men’s plaid.
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