My Friend and I Are Playing a Very Dangerous, Very Sexy Game

Dear How to Do It: There's a lot at stake, but I'd risk it all.

So, how do I maintain our friendship, our intimacy, without jeopardizing our friendship or crossing boundaries in her marriage? Before, our playful banter never even crossed my mind as problematic. But now with this undercurrent of attraction I do know what’s friendly and what’s flirting. And maybe most problematic—I would love to explore something physical with her, and if she ever gave me the go-ahead, I know I would.

You should enjoy what you have—the flirty closeness. It’s another level of platonic intimacy. Savor the unrealized possibility. Be there for her. You can be so bold as to have the conversation about whether her marriage could ever open up, how that might work, and what that might look like. But restrain yourself from crossing the line and sleeping with a married woman. It’s not going to be worth the drama and you might lose her entirely.

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