'It was my first real feat as a mother — putting the needs of my child before what I had wanted.'
. I felt instantly better but had one more request. I wanted to have the C-section that day. I couldn't handle waiting. Luckily, they were able to schedule my surgery for the same afternoon.. My husband, mom, and sister ate sandwiches in the cafeteria. I wasn't allowed to have any food or liquids before surgery, so I just watched them quietly. And I decided there, in the hospital cafeteria, that I'd have to let go.
My natural-birth mantra was back, though I'd be having what felt like the polar opposite of a natural birth. I'd wanted to go drug-free, and I was about to get hooked up to an IV and then have spinal anesthesia. I would get Pitocin after surgery. I'd need a lot of drugs to manage the pain afterward. But to get through it, I'd have to let go and let medical professionals handle my birth. I'd have to let go and accept that this was the safest way for my daughter to be born.
The mantra, like a meditation, flowed through me. I let it go. I breathed through every single step of the procedure, from the IV going into my arm to the anesthesiologist prepping my spine to the moment my daughter came out and I had to be patient and wait to see her. Letting it go and letting others take over was the strongest thing I could do.As much as I was gunning for that natural birth experience, I don't mourn the vaginal delivery I didn't have.
My drive to have a drug-free birth was part of wanting to test myself, test whether I could take the pain, and test whether my mind could manage the pain I would have. Instead I was tested in another way; could I manage my fear to endure something scary, in a totally different way? Weathering that mental challenge was enough proof to myself of my strength. It was my first real feat as a mother — putting the needs of my child before what I had wanted. I wouldn't change a thing about it.
Singapore Latest News, Singapore Headlines
Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
A Woman Says She Was Forced to Give Birth in a Dirty Jail Cell, Completely AloneSurveillance video of the incident reportedly shows her writhing around on her small bed, covered in sweat, before giving birth to her son in the empty cell
Read more »
Forever 21 reportedly preparing potential bankruptcy filingApparel retailer Forever 21 is preparing to potentially file for bankruptcy, Bloomberg reported Wednesday afternoon, citing people familiar with its plans.
Read more »
A's Star Liam Hendriks Rips G.S. Warriors For 'Treating Us Like S**t'A's Star Liam Hendriks Rips G.S. Warriors For 'Treating Us Like S***'
Read more »
Bernie’s Daft Plan to Save JournalismOpinion: Like the conservatives he disparages, Bernie Sanders wants to return to the imagined glories of the past. I’m all for independent news and more local news, but the senator’s overreaching interventions won’t get us there
Read more »
17-Year-Old Boy's Lungs Completely Blocked from Vaping, Doctors Say17-year-old boy's lungs completely blocked from vaping, doctors say
Read more »
Many Republicans Don’t Like Planned Parenthood — But They Don’t Mind Birth ControlRestricting funding for organizations that provide both abortions and reproductive health services may not be that popular — even among a significant share of Republicans. More, via FiveThirtyEight:
Read more »