3 reasons why shaming children can backfire—and what to do instead
, namely misbehavior. Behavior tends to follow focus, that is, you’re likely to get more of what you focus on.
Consider your own reaction to something about which you’re ashamed. You’ll probably need to think hard because the nearly universal defense against shame is to forget about it. An easier way to think about it is to recall when you were accused or blamed for something. Chances are, your initial, gut-level response was to deny or minimize, distract or deflect, or blame the blamer for being unfair.
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