'Post's totally-kind-of-hotness is all about pushing the very boundaries of hotness itself.'
Post Malone. Photo: Kevin Mazur/Getty Images For dcp Post Malone, the small-toothed, curly haired rapper known for his face tattoos and several chart-topping songs about girls, beers, and sadness, is not your typical kind of handsome. No, he is the kind of man who can only be described as “totally kind of hot.”
Below, three bold writers, proud “PostMates” if you will, discuss what makes him a controversial crush. If you have someone in your life who feels too nervous to express their feelings of attraction for this man, consider this their safe space. Bridget Read, writer: Right, the hotness of Post is wrapped up in his abjection. That he is considered smelly, that he has face tattoos, that he is cursed, and then that he has almost died several times.Allison: Also, he acknowledges all those things. He knows we think he’s smelly. And he’s funny about it.Allison: I gotta be honest though, I got so unhappy with myself for wanting to fuck him in a baby pool of Bud Light. And yet here I am.
Allison: I don’t mind that The Shorning made him more mainstream. Now it feels slightly more acceptable to take part in this.Allison: I don’t like Bud Light, but I like that he likes it. Like, there is something so beautiful in his inability to like anything highbrow. I feel like I’d meet him in a mall food court and we’d go hang out at Hot Topic before prom or something.
Madeleine: He’s also tall and would make me feel dainty I think. Here’s me, a tiny clean fairy next to this big man I found in an EDM cave.
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