Why do we value vulnerability in others, yet feel too afraid to show it ourselves?
People tend to view showing vulnerability as a strength in others, but see it as a weakness in themselves.We see the positive aspects of others’ displays of vulnerability, but we focus on the negative aspects of our own.Disclosing your struggle with mental illness
Showing vulnerability is necessary for creating authentic relationships, but many people are reluctant to allow themselves to be seen. In another study, Bruk and her team used a cover story to create genuine feelings of vulnerability. They told participants that they would be randomly assigned to perform one of two tasks. The first task would involve improvising a song in front of a jury . The other task would involve being a jury member charged with evaluating theAfter learning their assignment, participants shared how they felt about the display of vulnerability required from the singers.
Bruk’s research on the beautiful-mess effect suggests that showing vulnerability may be less risky than we think it is. What we see as a “mess” might be perceived by others to be strong, courageous, and—yes—even beautiful.
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