'I feel like I've been stowed away on a spaceship on a two-year long trip to the dark side of the moon, and I have no idea what's become of the world I used to know.' | cbcarts
"A visual representation of radical acceptance."
As a stand-up comedian who misses performing and could desperately use a laugh, I should be happy about society slowly tiptoeing toward normalcy again. I should be ready to leave the pain and grief and trauma of the pandemic behind. But I'm not. I feel like I've been stowed away on a spaceship on a two-year long trip to the dark side of the moon, and I have no idea what's become of the world I used to know. What I do know is that I'm not ready to find out.
When you go through trauma, a method of processing that grief is radical acceptance. You accept that things are just going to suck until they don't, and in surrendering to events beyond your control, you are hopefully able to find comfort in what you can control. So I took a break from trying to work during the pandemic, prioritizing my mental health over keeping my career on life support.
What if I've lost that creative spark? What if what I have to say is no longer relevant in a post-COVID world? What if everything I've spent my career trying to do was just a fluke, just a glitch in the system that let me slip by? Who am I if not this person I've spent five years telling people I am?
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