After both your parents have died, you realize you are now an 'orphan' and the loss of those two people -- even as you became their caretaker -- has left a huge gap in your life, columnist Donna Vickroy says.
This website stores data such as cookies to enable essential site functionality, as well as marketing, personalization, and analytics. By remaining on this website, you indicate your consent.After both your parents have died, it dawns on you that you are now an"orphan" and the loss of those two people who were your rocks -- even as you became their caretaker -- has left a huge gap in your life, columnist Donna Vickroy says.There’s the funeral: Burial instructions. Flowers. Luncheon.
You see yourself in motion completing tasks, doing as expected, but without definition. A blob without parameters. No hands on the steering wheel and no one watching as you careen across the lanes. Of course, you no longer needed parents as they are defined by Webster’s. You’re all grown up. You have been making your own decisions, choices, money, meals, relationships and way through life for decades.But they had been a fixture, a comfort, an easy chair, a friend. And the void is tremendous.
My teen years were contentious as I sought a very different path from theirs. Often, during this time, it seemed we had very little in common. Of course, most recently, I was his caregiver, doing my best to keep up with so many different duties. He was not happy about needing me, about losing his independence, but he always seemed happy to see me. He’d comment on the news, maybe because his life had become reduced to what happened on his television set, or perhaps because he thought that was our common bond.The past decade brought role reversals.
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