Moving into management can set off seismic social shifts in the office
Getting promoted to management brings some welcome benefits, from higher pay and perks to elevated status. After the congratulations are over, however, many new bosses ponder a more subtle change: Why don’t I have friends at the office anymore?
After a promotion earlier in his career, Tim Tolan said, invitations from some former peers at work ‘came to an abrupt halt.’Moving into management can set off a seismic social shift in the office. Former friends turn distant. Old ways of relating to colleagues no longer work. New-manager training that most employers provide seldom helps in navigating the new social dynamics.
Many young managers sense a jarring loss of trust among former peers.
That’s best done in a face-to-face conversation. “Name the change,” says Mikaela Kiner, CEO of Reverb, a Seattle leadership-development firm. Talk with friends who have suddenly become subordinates about changes in behavior required by your new role, such as having lunch together less often. And mention what you want to preserve, she says. “You might say, ‘I really appreciate the feedback and advice you give me, and I don’t want that to stop.
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