Contrary to popular belief, the person who is first to apologise is not necessarily the one who is at fault. The act of apologising is more about bridging the gap between our intentions and how others are affected, counsellors said.
cards interface. Give it a try.when a minor incident escalated into an unexpected conflict between me and my sister.
It turns out that apologising involves more than just taking on the blame and it is about addressing the uncomfortable gap between what we intended to happen and the consequences of our actions. She noted that apologising sometimes feels like “admitting failure”, which can trigger fears of rejection or judgment.
Ms Liew Shi Min, director and clinical psychologist of Heartscape Psychology Clinic, said that apologising could be difficult for some people because it can “trigger our core schemas”. This is particularly true for people with unresolved attachment issues or insecure attachments, because offering apologies may feel overly vulnerable, threatening or even like an attack, she said.
Apologies are essential to maintaining good relations, but it is better not to be too hasty with an apology, the experts said. "An effective apology is more than just saying 'sorry'. It's about showing genuine effort to repair the harm and rebuild trust," Dr Chow said. For example, instead of saying,"I'm sorry", try instead to say,"I understand how my actions hurt you and truly regret that".
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