SINGAPORE — Like most people, Ms Shakirah Noordin thumbs through her social media feeds to destress after a long day of work and having to take care of her three-year-old daughter.
But what is meant to be a time of mindless scrolling inevitably ends with the 31-year-old freelance tutor feeling more stressed out and agitated.
For the uninitiated, a"mumfluencer" refers to a mother who has accrued a large social media following and typically portrays herself as a “supermum”, or a mother who is successful at work and has a beautifully decorated and neat home, where she whips up Instagrammable meals every day. New mothers who had little exposure to social media then were already found to be feeling overwhelmed because they were comparing themselves to other mothers from their family or circle of friends, Dr Shorey said.
“She will most likely perceive herself as inadequate and failing in some way. The more exposure to social media’s unrealistic standards, the higher the bar, and the harsher the self-criticism,” said Ms Wetherell. For example, when social media exposure leaves them moody and anxious, it will take a toll on their ability to be present with their children and make choices that align with their own family's values, they said.
While she attends to her child's needs quickly during the early months, this gradually lessens over time as the child learns to deal with them on his or her own. The mother of two boys aged one and four said that, like many other mothers, she often feels stretched to the limit juggling work and ferrying her children everywhere.Financial blogger Dawn Cher admits that there are struggles which she has as a mother that her followers are unaware of.
A simple way of dealing with the pressures of being a"supermum" is to distance one's self from people and social media accounts which have a negative effect on one's mood, said experts. She came to this realisation when her helper had to leave Singapore suddenly and her confinement nanny cancelled on her, leaving her alone with a newborn and a toddler.
Ms Amanda Ong, the founder of the Aunty mobile application which matches parents to nannies, on opening up with other mothers about her parenting strugglesMrs Sarojini Padmanathan, a member of the Alliance for Action to Strengthen Marriages and Family, agreed with Ms Ong’s sentiments that women should not feel like they have to be able to do everything.
Ms Kanak Muchhal, who is part of the women’s strategic development team at charity organisation Daughters Of Tomorrow, said it is also about managing one's expectations and letting go of"mum guilt".
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