News text shares personal experiences of going on a group tour holiday with friends and how it impacted mental exhaustion. It emphasizes the need for relaxation and spontaneity in holiday planning.
Would I do it again? Yes, on one condition. Every year around April to May, I go on a holiday with my mum. It’s become sort of our little “tradition” — the two of us travelling somewhere new and creating memories that usually involve at least 10 arguments over something.
This year, we opted for China, and because I was stressed over work, I decided to do something completely out of character: I booked an organised group tour. I’m as Type A as you can get — the kind of traveller who creates a dedicated Google Sheets for each trip. And it’s not a simple document.
It has the budget, plus a detailed itinerary for every day filled with timings of where to go, what to eat, and when the trains will arrive. It even includes what I will be wearing for the day, to get that decision out of the way. So when I told my friends I was going on a group tour holiday, the reactions were expected.
“Ha? You? Tour group? ” As someone who likes control and the freedom to suddenly change plans halfway through the day, the idea of being herded around on a tour bus with matching luggage tags sounded mildly terrifying.
Of course, there were also moments where I felt my Type A soul quietly leaving my body. But overall, the experience taught me a lot. Most importantly, it taught me what worked and what absolutely did not. One thing I underestimated was how mentally exhausting it is to be both “trip planner” and “daughter” at the same time.
Now add “making sure mum is okay” into the equation. Suddenly, I’m monitoring stairs, checking if she’s cold, asking if she’s tired, and all while looking at Google Maps to make sure we’re not going the opposite direction. And if I’m being honest? Navigation has never been my strongest skill.
I usually leave that to my husband when he’s around. So having someone else handle all the logistics was honestly such a relief. For once, my brain got to rest a little on a holiday with my mum. And that meant I could actually focus on enjoying time with my mum instead of constantly thinking three steps ahead.
If you’re the person in the friend group who’s the appointed “planner”, you’ll understand this. There’s an invisible responsibility that comes with organising trips. You’re the one checking if people brought their passports and rushing others to catch the train. It’s exhausting sia.
Every morning, the guide would tell us where to be and when. The bus would arrive. Someone else would count heads. Someone else would manage timings.
Did it feel unsettling to surrender control? Yes. Was it also incredibly freeing? Also yes.
I love planning trips, but research can become a full-time job. Because I don’t use ChatGPT for planning my trips, I spend a ridiculous amount of time cross-checking blogs, TikToks, Reddit threads, Google reviews, Xiaohongshu recommendations, and random comments from strangers claiming a place is a “hidden gem”. So having a local guide who already knew the local culture and lingo, what scams to avoid, and which places were actually worth visiting was genuinely helpful.
Here’s the thing about organised tours: you go where the group goes. Even if you personally have zero interest in the activity. There were definitely moments during the trip where I found myself thinking, “I really do not need to be here right now. ” For example: visiting a fruit market.
At one point, I was just standing there holding cherries wondering how my life had led me to this exact moment. Then there was this group dance activity at Erhai. Just thinking about it makes me roll my eyes to the back of my skull. I participated, of course, because I’m Asian and incapable of openly refusing things.
But internally, my soul was dying. Why do group tour itineraries always involve a 6am-7am morning call? Every single day felt like I was preparing for a school excursion. Wake up.
Breakfast at a fixed timing. Bags ready. Assemble downstairs. Board the bus.
When I meticulously plan trips myself, I always leave room for spontaneity. There are days that might leave me exhausted, so I decide to wake up a little bit later the next morning. But on a group tour, the schedule moves regardless of how you feel. And after a few consecutive early mornings, I started feeling weirdly burnt out, despite being on vacation.
Yes, if I am going on a holiday with my mum. No, if she won’t be coming along. I still love discovering a randomly delicious sandwich bar while walking about and having full control over my schedule . Especially when it comes to destinations that are harder to navigate independently, or when travelling with older parents.
And honestly, there was something really nice about not having to carry the mental burden of the trip for once. I got to spend more time being present with my mum instead of constantly operating like an unpaid travel coordinator.
Group Tour Holiday With Friends Mental Exhaustion Negotiated Level Of Planning Relaxed Spontaneity Friend Group Autumn Season
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