In newyorkerhumor, a letter to the President, requesting “the subtraction of two years from the age of every U.S. citizen.”
Covid
-19-occasioned lockdown. Though P.P.P. forgiveness and student-loan forgiveness are part of the public discourse surrounding the pandemic and its fallout, too little attention has been paid to age forgiveness. As such, we, U.S. Citizens for Age Forgiveness Now!, are agitating for an executive order, to take effect on March 13th, which will officially decree that the past two years do not count toward the age of any American.
As such, an individual who is currently fifty-one years old would legally become forty-nine years old. A twenty-six-year-old would become a twenty-four-year-old. A new centenarian would revert to being ninety-eight, providing inducement to live to a hundredIn addition to the subtraction of two years from the age of every U.S.
A final note: One aspect of the past two years that shall not be reversed or re-litigated is the 2020 Presidential election; this was already attempted on January 6, 2021. ♦
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